Stop #9: Greenwood on 31 (#32)

This was totally not planned, but the store number for Stop #9 following the store number for Stop #8 makes a palindrome! Seriously. Go look at the last post.


Stop #9 happened Monday night, March 7. Or, again, really really early Tuesday morning, if you want to get technical.

Which I may want to do in this post, because that would sort of explain my pseudo-"Fat Tuesday" behaviors at the Steak 'n' Shake in Greenwood, on 31.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. Because the first thing I wanted to say in this post is that the Greenwood stop has probably been the best stop so far, in terms of the Steak 'n' Shake itself being exceptionally awesome. Our server was a woman named Kathryn M., and she actually seemed excited to see us when we walked in. So excited that I was forced to wonder if someone had leaked our quest to her before we showed up. Which actually wouldn't have been a bad thing. I actually hope that as we near the end of this quest, people at the Steak 'n' Shakes we have not been to yet may actually know we're coming, if not exactly when, at least that we will.

Of course, her excitement may have had nothing to do with our quest. It may have been partly due to the fact that no one was in the place when we walked in, so our appearance meant she would actually have people to talk to.

At any rate, Kathryn made the trip more fun than Steak 'n' Shake is all by itself. She was excited by the box of crayons I was toting along with me (all 148 of them!) and happy to get me an extra placemat or two so we could make the sign and have some spare paper as well, uses to be determined later.

And as we complimented the fact that this Steak 'n' Shake was playing some awesome old-school diner music, similar to what you'd hear in a Johnny Rocket's, compared to the pop we've heard at most Steak 'n' Shakes so far (nothing against pop per sé, it just gets a bit old sometimes), and then started to talk about current music in general, Kathryn made an awesome comment, which my friend and our newest guest for the night Zach decided to tweet.


And Kathryn's comment? "Lady Gaga is a musical genius, while Nicki Minaj is more of a crack baby."
Zach is also awesome for his hashtag on this particular item. #epicsteaknshakeservercomment

At any rate, Kathryn was awesome. So awesome that I almost wish we weren't on this quest to go to all the Steak 'n' Shakes in the state, 'cause I'd like to go to the Greenwood one again.

I decided to try something new, again, on this trip, and ended up ordering the Guacamole Steakburger (and, of course, fries).

And it was actually really good. I'm going to have to get it again, and recommend it to others. Although, if you don't like guacamole, well, you probably won't like the Guacamole Steakburger, no matter how many praises I sing.

While we ate, we used some of that extra placemat paper that Kathryn brought out to do the story game. We haven't played in a long time, in part because we usually don't have enough people to play, and in part because Brett has no soul and hates this game. I made him pretend to have a soul, just for Monday night. Though I forgot to mandate that he pretend to not hate the game, too.

And for those who want it, the story:

Once upon a time, Brett drove Zach, Marcy, and Nathan to the Steak 'n' Shake in Greenwood. And himself, of course.
Talks of small penises and hummers commenced.
Then Marcy started this stupid story which made all the pandas in the world fall into deep depression, thus the panda ward was used in downtown Fort Wayne.
Then all the marsupials started attacking kittens; chewing kitten paws and putting said paws in their pouches. After feeding, they stared inside the windows of Steak 'n' Shake, awaiting Marcy's entrance on her world tour.
"What up New York!" Marcy cried in excitement, picturing herself in a concert in Madison Square Gardens.
Marcy's band filled Madison Square Gardens with the sensual sounds of Barry Manilow as she stepped up to the mic to hit her first thundering note.
As she stepped up to the mic she saw one of the poor Panda's she drove to suicide and decided that she would never make anyone suffer again with her stupid stories (i.e. raspberry ice cream).
No sooner had she stepped up to the mic, than the marsupials swarmed the stage. Kitten paws bombarded her from every direction. She began to cry as those marsupials climbed up her body and brought her to the ground.
And Jesus wept.

Okay, so the game is a bit more fun when you have more than four people. But I'm okay with this story, as I clearly died in the end.

Speaking of me dying ....

Since it was the wee hours of "Fat Tuesday" when we were at the Greenwood Steak 'n' Shake, I had Lent on my mind.

Steak 'n' Shake did not help, what with putting this placemat right in front of me:


But, on the plus side, at least I know there are options when I go to Steak 'n' Shake over the course of the next 40 days. I could have either the Fish Sandwich, OR the Fish Plate!

Ah, Catholicism. You are so tasty.

I already had Lent on my mind, though, when we arrived at the Steak 'n' Shake, because I had already made up my mind to give up chocolate this year. I've done it before, so I know it's doable, but I haven't done it in a few years, so I knew it would be a bit of a challenge for me.

But I also knew, from previous experience in giving up chocolate, that the best way to get myself through 40 days without it is to pretty much overdose and nearly kill myself with it right before Ash Wednesday.

And so, once I was done with my Guacamole Steakburger, I beckoned Kathryn to return to me.

"Bar wench," I said, because I decided I was now living in the 1500s and it was totally appropriate and not questionable at all for me to call Kathryn a "wench" despite the fact that, as I pointed out earlier, I actually liked her, "bring me the finest mead and honey cake you have!"

Of course, by "finest mead," I meant a chocomazing shake. And by "honey cake," I meant fudge brownie sundae.

That's right. I was going to eat them both in one sitting.


This, my friends, is my look of determination. This is a look that says, "Oh yes I can! I can and I will!" This is a look that says, "I know what I can handle, and I can handle this!" This is a look that says, "Brownie, Shake: You are going DOWN."


And this is the more light-hearted look, the one that says, "Brownie, Shake: You are going DOWN. But don't be scared. You are going DOWN ... and into my belly. But don't worry! It's warm and cozy there."

It's also the look that says, "I don't even need a spoon to take you out. I can take you on my own!"

Unfortunately, the picture that would logically come next, I can't show you. Because it happened the next morning, as I experienced my chocolate hangover that resulted from finishing the brownie yet only getting two thirds of the way through my chocomazing shake. I didn't get that picture because -- well, frankly, if you've ever had a hangover, you probably realize that capturing that Kodak moment is just not your priority. But if I had captured that Kodak moment, you'd be seeing the look that says, "I made a mistake." The look that says, "I have many regrets in my life, and last night was one of them." The look that says, "My name is Marcy, and I am an idiot."

And a look that, nearly drowning out all the above, moans, "Uuuuuuggggghhhhhhh."

I do feel that the hangover comparison is appropriate. I have had a hangover before. Only once, after a night in which I finished three quarters of a fifth of pineapple rum in under an hour. Stupid decision? Yes. But not the point I'm making here. For many months, I could not handle even the smell of pineapple following that hangover, let alone the taste of it. And we're not just talking my friend the Cap'n, in pineapple. We're also talking that slice of pineapple that Steak 'n' Shake sends out on top of its cottage cheese. The pineapple you find in a fruit salad. The pineapple in the pineapple upside-down cake. The thought alone would make me lose my appetite.

And my friends, when I woke up Tuesday morning, after my night of debauchery with this brownie sundae and chocomazing shake (a night in which that shake, for once, bested me), I didn't want to eat anything chocolate. I didn't want to look at anything chocolate. I didn't want to think about anything chocolate. And when I unfortunately did, I was left feeling so sick that I couldn't eat. Tuesday, I ate a whopping 390 calories. Well, between waking up, and going to bed (we're obviously not counting the Steak 'n' Shake trip in that number.) I couldn't find anything appetizing, let alone the chocolate that so tempts me most of the time.

Mission: accomplished.

Mission 2 will also be accomplished if I can manage to drop a few pounds, too, by thinking about chocolate any time I start to feel hungry and thereby suppressing that hunger to the point that I never have to eat. But that would be just a bonus at this point, as the primary goal -- to make myself not even want chocolate for most of the Lent season -- has already been fulfilled.

And so ended another successful Steak 'n' Shake trip. Which shouldn't have surprised me -- after all, going in, I knew this was stop #9. It was clearly destined to be awesome.