Stop #43: South East St, Indianapolis (#25)

Stop #43 took me to not-so-far-away, here in Indy, just after I went to a theater to see the new "Twilight" movie.

Before you scorn me for my tastes, or think horrible thoughts about me, or wish I was dead, in my defense:


THIS is why I went. THIS is why I've gone to see all of the movies, why I've read the books, why I cut myself when the world is just too much.

Okay, that last bit, I don't really do. Getting inside Bella's head is pain enough for a lifetime over.

And in case you're wondering about that bizarre belly button on my shirt, my "Twilight: Because I'm a masochist" shirt was actually made for the release of "Eclipse" last year, which is why I tried to fabric-paint on, well, an eclipse.


You might be thinking that you really don't want to hear my thoughts on this movie. You might be here for the Steak n' Shake of it all, or for the anagrams, or for the Catch Caragher. But today, I feel like talking about this movie. And, as Robbie Hart once said in a movie I love dearly, "Well I have a microphone, and you don't, so you will listen to every damn word I have to say!" Yeah, that's how this "review" is gonna go.

Of course, by microphone, I mean blog.

So how was "Breaking Dawn: Part 1"? I've got to say, in my opinion, it's been the best of the series so far. Now, don't mistake that for me saying that the movie is good. That logic would be similar to saying that Mussolini was a good guy 'cause he wasn't as horrible a dude as Stalin or Hitler. "Breaking Dawn Part 1" is no Hitler ("New Moon" for the shirtless shot of "RPatz") or Stalin ("Eclipse" for the OH GOD ALL OF IT), but that doesn't mean we should give it an Oscar, or a Nobel prize.

The first ... solid third? of the movie is basically the wedding you wish you weren't invited to, followed by the world's most lame honeymoon videos by that couple you wish didn't know you because OH GOD IS RPATZ REMOVING HIS SHIRT AGAIN MAKE IT STOP. KStew's walk down the aisle had to have been four miles long for all the long, meaningful, intense facial shots between her and RPATZ THANK GOD YOU'VE GOT A SHIRT ON THIS TIME. Thankfully, there wasn't too much dialogue in that chunk of the movie, meaning our stars should have been able to better focus on their actual acting skills.

Oh, wait. Nope, no side benefit of that, after all.

I also think something should be said for some inconsistency when it comes to this part of the series. Inconsistency as in, "Dear Bill Condon, Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion!" Inconsistency as in, there were shots from that honeymoon that should only exist in your worst nightmare in which Edward was wandering around in the sunlight, yet failed to sparkle. Now, don't misunderstand me -- I do not prefer my vampires sparkly, and there's too much of the slow-mo sparkle-action in all the other movies as it is. But if you've established that vampires in your world sparkle in the sunlight, you can't abandon that trait just because it got boring. And Bill Condon, by agreeing to direct Stephanie Meyers' wet dream (seriously, the whole story started from a dream she had, so I'm going to make my assumptions from there because sometimes my mind is in the gutter and clearly sometimes hers is too), you are agreeing to adapt to the vampires in her world, irritating though they may be.

My final big complaint is the finesse with which wolf telepathy was conveyed. This movie takes what is basically my favorite part of any of the books -- the part where we abandon Bella and her vapid and pointless existence and go hang out with some characters who are actually interesting for a change -- and destroys it with a nearly incoherent mass of confusion that just sounds atrocious. After that, who wants to hang out with the wolf pack anymore? It's almost as painful as DEAR GOD RPATZ PUT YOUR SHIRT BACK ON.

So now that I've made clear that you maybe don't want to go see "Breaking Dawn Part 1" and, hell, maybe don't want to read "Twilight" in the first place, what might you want to do instead?*

Let me recommend some books that actually might have value! Or, at the very least, entertainment that doesn't make you want the main character to die!

1. The Pact, Jodi Picoult
I'm just tossing this in 'cause it's my favorite book from this author, but you can't go wrong with most of her stuff. Most of her stuff revolves around a court drama and a hidden piece of evidence or fact that changes everything at the last minute. This one, specifically, involves the suicide pact of two teenagers gone wrong, in which only one teenager actually dies, leaving the other to look like a suspect in her murder. A fun romp for any interested reader!

2. The Dark Half, Stephen King
Stephen King has some decent stuff out there, but The Dark Half has been my favorite, and was the book I managed to squeeze in two and a half times during a three-week trip to Australia and New Zealand back when I was in 7th grade. (Hey, in the days before e-readers, you had to make do with the total number of books you could actually fit in your suitcase, which was, in my case, two.) Plot centers on a writer who has written under both his real name (one genre) and a pseudonym (a completely different genre). When he tries to "kill off" the pseudonym and come clean to the public, the pseudonym decides it doesn't really want to be dead. Fun fact, apparently there was a sort of old-school computer game based on this book, too.

3. Dave Barry Slept Here: A Sort-of History of the United States
Dave Barry cracks me up. He will probably crack you up, too. If he doesn't, it's because you have no soul. Slept Here is my favorite Barry book, as it's basically turning history on its head and I apparently find that amusing.

4. Invisible Monsters, Chuck Palahniuk
This book made me want to have Chuck Palahniuk's babies. From the same author that brought you Fight Club is this story about a girl who used to be super-pretty but who had her mouth shot off in an accident and now she travels around the country with a pair of people who are as f-ed up in head as she is to look at. Then again, she may also be as f-ed up in the head. There are three instances of plot twist in this book that made my jaw drop. My only regret with this book is that I can't go back and read it for the first time all over again, getting all those surprises fresh again.

*Read the fine print: I'm all in favor of reading at large, so if you read "Twilight" because the alternative is, well, not reading at all, then I appreciate the attempt. I just also hope that you do someday graduate to something else, even if it is only Harlequin Romance or something.

These are the things you could do instead of reading (or watching) "Twilight" if you are unlike me. Then again, if you are a masochist as well, "Twilight"! Have at it!

Speaking of acts of masochism, on this particular Quest Stop, I finally got around to trying the FritoBurger.


I know. It's scary to look at. Imagine how it felt to eat it.

And if you can't imagine it, enjoy this pseudo-film strip!





And of course, the aftermath:

I actually cut it in half so that Husband could "enjoy" it with me. He has a more varied ... palate ... than I do, meaning it might not actually be the worst thing in the world, and I wouldn't necessarily know it.

And he did imply it was not the worst thing in the world. However, I don't think either of us will be ordering it again.

Fortunately, I anticipated the above, and got real food too: my favorite standby and reward for being brave, a Guacamole Steakburger and french fries.

In the end, it turned out to be a pretty good day: "Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1" followed by a Fritoburger.

Then again, let me remind you:


Though I think no one else suffered quite as much as I did, as only two of us went to see the movie, and only two of us (one of us being different from the former pair of two of us) actually tried the Frito Burger.

The rest escaped unscathed.

Stop #42: College Mall, Bloomington (#166)

Stop #42 happened as the result of hearing of a fabric arts show/sale the second weekend of November, in Bloomington.


Emily thought it sounded like fun. Jen also thought it sounded like fun. I thought it sounded like a good opportunity to squeeze in another Steak n' Shake. Also like fun.

And the proof that three ladies had taken over the Steak n' Shake:


Yup. Maybe I should clarify "three crafty ladies," as I know one of my bags was there due to knitting projects, and I can only assume Emily too brought knitting, and Jen crocheting, as that's basically always the case.

Speaking of Jen, she is no longer a Steak n' Shake Quest virgin!


Meet Jen. She added artwork to my sign 'cause she's awesome.

Did I mention this Steak n' Shake was in Bloomington?

In case you had any doubts:

Indiana Hoosiers wall liner.

Indiana Avenue street sign, inside.

Still have doubts?

Hoosiers hand in the claw game.

And best of all:

Indiana Hoosiers sign below SnS sign.

Unrelated to the IU hysteria in the place, but this was the first stop where I noticed a promotion I almost can't pass up ....


Apparently, if I buy myself several gift cards for $20, I'll get a $5 gift certificate for each of them.

I may have just found a way to finance the rest of my quest ....

My posse ended up ordering milkshakes all around -- a Butterfinger one for me. Complete with whipped cream mustache, apparently.


We didn't stay long, as we really did want to get back to the home base. Jen also had to check on her puppies. But we did have an enjoyable time.


Thanks Bloomington! I'm sure I'll see you again soon. After all, you still have another two SnS locations for me to visit!

Intermission: Things that make me smile

I've still got a couple of stops to post on, but first, I would like to post something that just makes me smile like none other today.

Blogger is fantastic in that, in looking at the stats for your blog, it lets you see what links people are using to get to you, and what Google keywords they are using to get to you.

Here's a recent screenshot, with my favorite circled.


That might be hard to read, but it definitely says "gangsters with fedoras."

That's right. People are Googling "gangsters with fedoras" and are finding my Steak n' Shake blog. Thank you, Señor Mizener, for making that possible.

I love the world. :)

Stop #41: IN-933, South Bend (#576)

Stop #41 happened mere hours after Stop #40, and mere miles away.

I was joined by the legendary Kyanne and her fellow Notre Dame grad student, Ankit.


You may remember them from the Mishawaka stop, in which I drooled profusely over Shaun Morgan and crew. Of course, you may remember it better for the creepy picture featuring three Bretts.

While I worked on the sign, they worked on some artwork:


From Ankit, a small person with a ginormous Steakburger.

And from Kyanne, an illustration of my drive up on that particular day, in which Officer Ron pulls me over and gives me a speeding ticket.

It's true. My streak of not just not getting pulled over for speeding but legitimately not really speeding anymore anyway ended as construction and We-Wish-We-Were-Big-Town, Indiana
stop lights put me way behind schedule.

And I was sad.

Fortunately, Steak n' Shake was able to supply me with a Western BBQ Double Steakburger and fries.


And when that wasn't quite enough, they brought me a double chocolate milkshake.


And when that wasn't enough, Kyanne, showing the kind of generosity you could only get from a true friend, let me steal her cherry.


For you cynics out there, I guess it's also possible that it's not so much generosity of a true friend, but of someone who doesn't like whipped cream and pseudo-faux cherries.

But I opt for the generosity thing. :)

After we finished our artwork and food, we decided to head out so we could make it to Kyanne's apartment for a round of Settlers of Catan. Which was spectacular, as I recreated I-80/I-90 around some fields of brick and wheat.

Next brilliant idea? Settlers of Can. AT Steak n' Shake.

Stop #40: Ireland, South Bend (#225)

With class canceled on Friday a couple weeks ago, it seemed a terribly appropriate time to make a trip to a Steak n' Shake that was a good distance away.

And so, I headed to South Bend. Which is decidedly north.


Stop numero uno (and #40 in this quest) for the day took me to the location on Ireland, where I met up with my friend, Kate.

I got a California Double Steakburger and fries.


Meanwhile, Kate got the Chili 5-Way and the world's most crooked milkshake.


Seriously, it came in a crooked glass.


Need more proof? I shall use terrible paint editing to prove my point, the same as the paranoid folk who see inappropriate sexual references in every single Disney movie ever.

That milkshake's as crooked as a Chicago politician!
As crooked, but more tasty!
Not that I would know from experience or anything.

I've got to say, this Steak n' Shake had one of the most interesting interiors to date.

First off, the bar was pretty cool. It didn't have an angled corner or anything.


And then there were mirrors, where most Steak n' Shakes have only windows.

Mirrors that looked almost two-way to me.

It's called "Marcy's attempt at being discreet."

One of the servers, Angela, told me that they're not -- that the mirrors are there instead of windows because the district manager's office is back there.

Frankly, though, that makes me more suspicious, and the fact that I didn't get to go test my theory didn't help, either.

Angela made me a little sad, not only for denying that the mirrors were two-way, but also because, upon hearing about my quest and how far I'd gotten so far, she stated that the 30 I had left was "a lot."

Frankly, that might be true, but considering I've got 40 out of the way, more than half and 10 more than how many remain, it was a bit discouraging.

Thankfully, the guy that I presume was the manager due to his attire was more supportive. Dude Looks Like a Brian, as I will call him because, well, he looked like a Brian (and lacked a name tag, so I had to fill it in myself), actually seemed excited about the quest.

He was also happy to take our group picture for the shot.


Just before he recommended a Steak n' Shake in Michigan City, putting me frighteningly close to that city with politicians whose crookedness rivals the South Bend milkshake's.

Stop #39: Martinsville (#594)

Stop #39 in the Quest brought to you by: Butler's Homecoming. Featuring my LJ BFF 4-Eva!


Our trip to Martinsville coincided with Homecoming, in part because Becca's not from around here and therefore only comes back for important occasions. Like Steak 'n Shake quest stops. And alma mater Homecomings. But mostly Steak 'n Shake quest stops.

We had a grand ol' time celebrating Butler's Homecoming and getting excited about Blue II. You may recognize him, 'cause he's kind of famous.


Anyway, we decided to celebrate Homecoming by participating in their coloring contest. They had pictures of Blue II at the bookstore that you could pick up, color, and turn back in for a chance to win ... I'm assuming a prize. Or maybe fame and glory. I'd take the latter, given the choice.

It was a remarkably good picture of Blue II, and I wondered how it was created to match him so well.

And then I looked at the back of my crayon box.


Apparently, Crayola lets you turn photos into color-able images. I can't be sure, but that's my guess. And now *I* want to make a coloring book out of photos.

And so we each did our best in hopes that we would win fame and glory.

Thumbs up for Blue II!

"Blue II wants YOU to go to Butler University!"

Of course, there was eating (chili and a "chocolate-covered strawberry" milkshake for me), followed by more coloring of the AWESOME variety.


Becca's Argyle Blue II actually got a shout-out by the man -- er, dawg -- himself.


Mine ended up being a Blue II o' Bling. Which got no shout-outs. Which made me sad.

Another sad aspect of this stop in the quest: we discovered that apparently the people who do Steak 'n Shake marketing have difficulties in the math department.


Specifically, the counting department.


And in case you think we just happened to miss one of the words we should have found -- no, no. Because Steak 'n Shake conveniently sticks all the answers upside-down at the bottom of their placemats.


Go ahead. Count. I'll wait. It's not eight. Absolutely not eight.

Despite this disappointment, the stop was a successful one. It was good to see Becca, and it was fun to color Blue II (even though ultimately neither of us won the fame and glory thing).

Thanks, Martinsville, for having us and all our friends!