Stop #58: Reed Road, Kokomo (#145)

Jen and I were not done in Kokomo after our stop at Essex Drive. But, what do you do when Kokomo has broken your heart?

What DO you do?

You drown your sorrows in milkshakes at the OTHER Kokomo Steak 'n Shake!

Goldie's a big HIMYM fan like me, apparently.

Also, I totally free-handed that. Maybe.

So Jen and I headed to the next SnS on Reed Road.

We each ordered a Red Velvet milkshake with fudge drizzling. Then waited.

For forever.

Jen got to work on solving the Steak 'n Shake puzzles on the back of her placemat.

Cruel puzzles taunting us with a spring while we sat in a snow-covered Hell.

Then things got worse: Our shakes arrived, but the server had to tell us that they were out of fudge drizzling and had to use chocolate syrup instead. We didn't mind that so much, but when I took off the lid to my cup, I nearly wept.

Where's the top quarter of my shake?

It was sadly low on the shake. Seriously, I'd had one sip at this point. And as big as my mouth is, it can't fit THAT much shake. 

Also, I had no spoon to fetch the cherry.

Basically, Kokomo decided that it wasn't going to break our hearts just once. It was going to break our hearts again, and again, and again. 

... Then again, I did have a mostly-full tasty shake to try to take my mind off my broken heart. As long as the lid was on.

Meanwhile, Jen distracted herself from the sadness by stealing my placemat and continuing the puzzles activities.

Jen might be a masochist, looking at all these spring-y things amidst a blizzard outside.

Sadly, with this stop, our "tropical" vacation was over: Jen had to work, and I had some tears to shed in the privacy of my own home.

 And, of course, we did get a postcard for all you lovely readers.

Reverse: Next time, just go to Florida.
There might be giant gross bugs, but there's also beaches.
And 81 Steak 'n Shakes.

Stop #57: Essex Drive, Kokomo (#244)

After one of the most miserable winters in my memory here in Indiana (seriously, it's been like a billion inches of snow and temperatures so low at times that you can throw boiling water outside and get snow), I decided I'd earned a vacation. A quality vacation, better than any vacation I've had before. One to a place everyone's heard of.

Because after you put up with a billion inches of snow, don't you deserve bodies in the sand? After you put up with temperatures so low that you can throw boiling water outside and get snow, don't you deserve a tropical drink melting in your hand? After your pipes have frozen five times and you've had work canceled thrice for weather-related reasons, don't you deserve to get away from it all?

Way down in Kokomo?

So I invited Jen to join me on my tropical paradise vacation. Where I happened to know that they had not one, but TWO Steak 'n Shakes for the enjoying.

But you know what, lovely readers?

Kokomo is a LIE.

Behold: The saddest vacation picture ever.

Okay, technically, Kokomo exists, but the beach promised by the line of sand in the song? The warmth promised by the tropical drink melting in the song? The pleasant vacation promised by the steel drums? John Stamos?

It's a lie. It's ALL a lie. Kokomo had inches of snow on the ground when we arrived, a temperature a whopping two degrees above freezing, and nary a ray of sunshine to be seen, save for my artwork.

My heart was broken.

Fortunately, the two Steak 'n Shakes were NOT a lie.

At the first Steak 'n Shake we went to, the one on Essex Drive, our server, Patrick, was very friendly, and seemingly a bit confused by our decision to take a vacation in Kokomo. (Well, Patrick, you live here. You know what it's like. We've apparently been fed a diet of lies all our lives thanks to the Beach Boys.)

Jen managed to keep an upbeat and "let's enjoy our vacation anyway" attitude.

Probably because she wasn't just standing outside
in a puddle of melted snow wearing flip-flops and shorts.

And convinced me to follow suit with my own as-close-as-possible-to-tropical-melting-drinks-thanks-to-drinky-umbrellas shot.

Pictured: Faking it.

To mend my broken heart, I ordered what has become one of my favorites at Steak 'n Shake, a veritable comfort-to-Marcy food: the Guacburger.

Hope, and the promise of a better tomorrow.

The hope is the burger;
the promise, the guacamole.
The better tomorrow? Apparently fries.

Belly full, I was able to get over the fact that I could not find a beach in Kokomo to sun myself on. Though, as photographic evidence proves (and the photographic evidence of a rare variety, I promise), my legs definitely needed it. They do not see the light of day but once every ten years, kind of how Davy Jones' legs wouldn't see the light of day but once every ten years when he gets to set foot on land. Except his legs probably see more sunlight by virtue of being on a pirate ship in the in-between years.

But my vacation was looking up. I'd had a burger, I'd had a wannabe tropical drink, and I had the traditional "group shot" with Jen.

Though more fitting is the shot of the postcard variety.

 Reverse: Wish you were here! Because misery loves company!

Stop #56: New Castle (#619)

After our stop in Richmond, Splenda and I left scary-close-to-Ohio territory and made our way to the next stop, and the stop that really motivated Splenda to join me on my trip for the day.

That's right: We went to New Castle.

New Castle, home of many a Butler Basketball player, all of whom Splenda appreciates greatly due to them playing basketball for Butler.

I, too, am a fan, because they shoot many ...

s!

That is, they shoot a lot of 3-pointers, and 3 is my second favorite number. 3 is also the highway you take to get to New Castle, which is where, as I've already mentioned, many Butler players are from.

Once we got there, with basketball on my mind, I got excited by the Steak 'n Shake measuring stick by the door, 'cause according to it, height is measured in Steak 'n Shake characters. I am apparently Goldie Fries tall.

Most Butler basketball players are Milkshake tall, or taller, apparently.

Since we had had lunch in Richmond (close enough to Ohio to warrant worrying about being poisoned, I might add), Splenda and I decided we only needed milkshakes this time around.

Splenda was glad to finally get the chance to try the Nutter Butter milkshake.

 Meanwhile, I was glad to get the chance to have the brownie bits milkshake.

 Sad to say, this is my before face. The shake itself was a bit of a disappointment. If you go to Steak 'n Shake and you're craving both brownie and ice cream, please, don't waste your time on this milkshake.

Get the glorious, wondrous brownie sundae. For reals:

 

 Someone about to take on a delicious, delicious combination of ice cream and brownie.

 Someone about to take on a not-so-delicious combination of ice cream and brownie.

After we finished our shakes, Splenda and I decided to do our group shot with Darnell Archey, Zach Hahn, and Chase Stigall, the very boys who had motivated us to stop by that Steak 'n Shake that day.

Stop #55: Richmond (#235)

In early June, I headed dangerously close to Ohio in order to continue with my Steak 'n Shake Quest.

Dangerously close.

But then, what's a quest without a bit of danger?

And so, Splenda joined me for her first Quest Stop and ventured with me to Richmond, Indiana.

Being as close to Ohio as we were, we decided to tempt the fates, and actually venture into Ohio.

See? That's the bridge over nothing, the path to nowhere, the sure sign that you are headed for ... Ohio.

Confirmation: That's us in Ohio. You can tell, because Ohio is the only reason to be so sad.

Don't believe me? Think we just got close to the bridge and turned around? My trusty(ish) navigator pal, GPSy, can show you.

Think I used my awesome awesome tech skills to confuse my less-than-genius navigator and trick it into saying we were in Ohio?

Not so. Against my better judgment, I went into that gas station we were stopped at and contributed to the Ohio economy by buying gummy worms.

And what did my receipt reveal?

That Ohio somehow thinks they have a new and improved version of one of the top international cities. Pfft. Ohio. You so silly!

And dangerous. So Splenda and I high-tailed it out of there.

But of course, the primary focus of this trip was Steak 'n Shake, and not our death-defying adventures into *shudder* Ohio.

We had come this far east for Steak 'n Shake.

Though we did continue to make fun of Ohio once we got there.

First, I drew some artwork.

 

A look at my interpretation of the states.

Then Splenda tried her hand.

A close-up of the finished product for those who wan to see her awesomeness.

Though we realized partway through our visit that we were probably surrounded by Ohioans. Fortunately, they didn't actually attack us or anything. Though we were getting the evil eye from some fellow customers.

So we called for back-up.

Becca was jealous that she couldn't join us on this quest trip, but I promised we would call her and she could be with us in spirit.

After chatting with Becca a bit, we went ahead and ordered. I got my standard guacburger and fries.

After eating (and getting the stinkeye from what we suspected were several surrounding Buckeyes), we did the traditional "group photo" and headed out.

And, of course, shortly after taking this photo, we stepped outside and confirmed, by looking around the parking lot, that we had indeed been surrounded by citizens of that un-great state, Ohio.

Frankly, you're lucky to be reading this post from me. Having been that close to Ohio, then in Ohio, then surrounded by Ohioans -- that's almost as bad as driving blindfolded with no seatbelt.

Also almost as stupid.

Stop #50: Lebanon (#268)

On the Ides of March, Jen and I decided to make a trip to what would be the big 5-0 of Steak 'n Shake stops: Lebanon.


Jen was super-excited, because she had been looking forward to her opportunity to try one specific new menu item: the new 3D Grilled Cheese.


A 3D Grilled Cheese? Heavens! And to think I've been eating my grilled cheeses in just two dimensions, all these years!


I was also pretty excited, but noted that, both in the picture and in the actual sandwich, the name seemed to be a bit deceptive: there is quite clearly meat on this sandwich.


While I do love my meat, to me, a grilled cheese is a sandwich that contains, quite simply, cheese. No added nothin's, no extra fixin's. Cheese between two pieces of bread, buttered on the outside and perfect for grilling.

However, a description of the sandwich revealed that there was also a bit of frisco sauce added in the mix, along with the meat and three different kinds of cheese, so I got over my moment of slight confusion pretty quickly.


The verdict?

It's pretty good. Better than I expected, even. I hadn't known I was a fan of pepperjack cheese until this sandwich. I had known I was a fan of frisco sauce, but this confirmed it. It was delightfully tasty.

Jen also thought it was pretty good. And she made plans for when she would get her next one as we ate these ones.

However, enjoying the 3D Grilled Cheese (co-starring MEAT), french fries and a nutter butter shake was not the only reason I went to Steak 'n Shake that night.

I went because it is March Madness, and with my beloved Dawgs not in NCAA tournament this year, I was forced -- and then delighted -- to participate in another type of bracket competition: the 2012 BurgerBusiness Burger Bracket.

Steak 'n Shake was, of course, in the pack. But who might they be playing? And where could we expect upsets?

Jen and I got down to business.


Being a decent basketball fan who enjoys the official tournament and bracket challenge, I decided to use my knowledge of the "teams," likeliness of upsets, and (as in actual basketball bracket contests) general prejudices against certain locations and mascots to determine winners.

Jen went a more calculated route: the iPhone.

Dear Google, what is Umami? ...

It was actually pretty entertaining to see some of the match-ups. For example, a place called BGR, up against a place called Fuddruckers, whose name just makes me smile. A Burger 21 against Sonic, which didn't make sense to me because isn't Sonic more well-known for hotdogs? A place called Blanc Burgers and Bottles against a place called Meatheads, which I surely wouldn't eat at because who wants the head meat? An Epic Burger against a place called Umami, which I commented to Jen before she even looked it up sounded like an Asian place, which doesn't really jibe with burgers, in my mind.

And, finally, at least in my bracket, a Final Four match-up between Ray's Hell Burger and a place surely inspired by one of my favoritest movies ....

Yes, it is apparently a real place.
Sadly, I think neither Keenan nor Kel work there .....

Yes. Good Burger.

Of course, you had your obvious standards, too, like Cheeseburger in Paradise, Red Robin, McDonald's, Rally's, Johnny Rockets, Five Guys, and, of course Steak 'n Shake.

Of course, in my bracket, we all know who wins.

And for those who want a better look at all the match-ups, my bracket appears unobstructed by my pen below.


For the record, those "regions" are as the BurgerBusiness Burger Bracket set them out: named for some of the biggest names in burger chains in this country. I really have no idea how the seeding was determined, but there you have it.

And there you have it for Stop #50, as with the conclusion of filling out our brackets, so came the conclusion of our visit to Lebanon and our encounters with the 3D Grilled Cheese.

Stop #39: Martinsville (#594)

Stop #39 in the Quest brought to you by: Butler's Homecoming. Featuring my LJ BFF 4-Eva!


Our trip to Martinsville coincided with Homecoming, in part because Becca's not from around here and therefore only comes back for important occasions. Like Steak 'n Shake quest stops. And alma mater Homecomings. But mostly Steak 'n Shake quest stops.

We had a grand ol' time celebrating Butler's Homecoming and getting excited about Blue II. You may recognize him, 'cause he's kind of famous.


Anyway, we decided to celebrate Homecoming by participating in their coloring contest. They had pictures of Blue II at the bookstore that you could pick up, color, and turn back in for a chance to win ... I'm assuming a prize. Or maybe fame and glory. I'd take the latter, given the choice.

It was a remarkably good picture of Blue II, and I wondered how it was created to match him so well.

And then I looked at the back of my crayon box.


Apparently, Crayola lets you turn photos into color-able images. I can't be sure, but that's my guess. And now *I* want to make a coloring book out of photos.

And so we each did our best in hopes that we would win fame and glory.

Thumbs up for Blue II!

"Blue II wants YOU to go to Butler University!"

Of course, there was eating (chili and a "chocolate-covered strawberry" milkshake for me), followed by more coloring of the AWESOME variety.


Becca's Argyle Blue II actually got a shout-out by the man -- er, dawg -- himself.


Mine ended up being a Blue II o' Bling. Which got no shout-outs. Which made me sad.

Another sad aspect of this stop in the quest: we discovered that apparently the people who do Steak 'n Shake marketing have difficulties in the math department.


Specifically, the counting department.


And in case you think we just happened to miss one of the words we should have found -- no, no. Because Steak 'n Shake conveniently sticks all the answers upside-down at the bottom of their placemats.


Go ahead. Count. I'll wait. It's not eight. Absolutely not eight.

Despite this disappointment, the stop was a successful one. It was good to see Becca, and it was fun to color Blue II (even though ultimately neither of us won the fame and glory thing).

Thanks, Martinsville, for having us and all our friends!