Happy birthday to me!

Why, thank you Steak 'n Shake! You are SO on the ball with the birthday wishes! I mean, yeah, you're a few weeks early, but that just means I get to bask in this birthday specialness that much longer.

Steak 'n Shake, your e-club brings me great joy with its birthday greetings and promise of free food stuffs.

Tasty food: "Ur doin it wrong"

Draft 1:
Dear Steak 'n' Shake,
At first, I was excited to see coupons in my mail from you when I got home from work.


But then something caught my eye.


At first, I thought, "It can't be! It simply cannot be!"



But I was wrong. And, disappointed with you, I nearly canceled the quest.
Love (but fading fast),
Marcy

Draft 2:
Dear Steak 'n' Shake,
I love you, I really do.
But sometimes, you make me cry with the stuff you put out.


Love,
Marcy

Draft 3
Dear Steak 'n' Shake,
I know you have a variety of customers who come through your doors to enjoy your wondrous food.


But I've got to say, just because some of those customers happen come in after using certain recreational pharmaceuticals and other related items, doesn't mean you should make menu items that specifically cater to them and advertise that they're a significant chunk of your customer base.


Really, who thought that one through?
Love (through the good times and the bad),
Marcy

Draft 4
Dear Steak 'n' Shake,
Please let me into your testing kitchen.
Because there is no excuse for things like this to make it out of there.


Love,
Marcy

A Guacamole Steakburger? Thank you, Steak 'n' Shake!

This past week, I checked my mail and found what I initially thought were just more Steak 'n' Shake coupons.


I mean, Steak 'n' Shake coupons are Steak 'n' Shake coupons, so I was pretty happy, despite what the "just" in the above statement implies -- but then I noticed that I had the Holy Grail of Steak 'n' Shake Coupons.


Well, MY Holy Grail of Steak 'n' Shake Coupons, anyway. Dan Brown and his spawn of spawn of spawn of Jesus Christ can go suck it. You too, Indiana Jones.

Okay, maybe that's a little harsh. Still, I was happier seeing this in my mailbox than I was seeing Tom Hanks with slicked back and greasy-looking almost-mullet hair or an ophidiophobic Harrison Ford, so you can see why this calls for a glorious and joyous post all its own.

What's that, Steak 'n' Shake? You want me to have a Guacamole Steakburger and fries, for just $4.49? I mean, that's what I'm assuming a "$4.49 Guacamole Steakburger & Fries" coupon means. And I think I shall. As Barney says in Season 4 Episode 2 of HIMYM, "I love this burger so much, I want to sew my ass shut."

Yes, dear Guacamole Steakburger, that is how I feel about you.

Love,
Marcy